My wife stumbled upon a blog post in which somebody
proclaimed their new found disbelief in their faith and the reasons why. It was concluded that God (if there is a God)
would be happier with this person being happy and not living their faith than
being miserable and living it. Some of
what was said is that this person had a tremendous amount of “faith” and had
done everything they could to “1000” percent but just was not feeling like the
answers were coming. I’m not sure how
long this lack of communication went on but I’m quite sure it was to the order
of years they had been feeling this way.
As they put it, they were still a “good” person but they
just had given up on trying to believe.
What made this interesting was my wife found the post on the facebook
wall of one of her friends who shares the same faith as we do. The way this friend posted the blog article
made her think they had also lost faith in what they were doing. The article ended with something along the
lines of “if I could force myself to believe then I would believe in a heartbeat,
but I can’t and so I choose to do what I feel I must which is to let go of the
faith that I no longer believe in.
Some of the questions were “why isn’t my faith growing?”
“why are my prayers not being answered?” “why is it that others seem to get the
answers they want but I don’t?” While
there were more and the actual questions may have been slightly different those
I listed were pretty much the gist of the problems this person had. The post forced a bit of self reflection and
really required a great deal of thought as to what the answers would be, if there
are any at all.
This person felt they had put in a “1000” percent effort,
but to no avail—the peace they had been seeking never came, why? I ask that because I, like probably many
others, have asked this very question in my own life. I am actually living some of those questions
right now. But I know I’m not the only
one. Mother Teresa is said to have
lamented the loss of her connection with God during her last while here on
earth and that she had actually not felt his influence in a good number of
years (I forget the exact quote or the amount of years but it was A LOT!).
On a side note I’m at a park with my boys and just realized that my poor 8 year
old does not know how to pump his legs to swing on a swing… YIKES… I’ve failed
as a parent, so I must let this post go for now and help him learn. I’m back and all is right in the world, my 8
year old can pump his legs and swing on a swing!... that was a close one!
There are some good answers to these questions but I think
it’s worth thinking about for a few days before answering. As far as the diet is concerned I’ve hit a
plateau and have had a problem muscling through it. I have felt the benefit and relief of the Candida diet I’ve chosen but also still have many symptoms that just won’t seem to go
away and are frankly driving me crazy!
This difficulty feels like I’m “losing faith” in my ability
to be freed from the many years of symptoms I’ve felt and I’m at a loss of what
to do. Nothing has worked completely
yet, but there is still hope, which I do plan to hold on to. Sorry it’s been a while with the posts but it’s
been quite a ride!
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