Monday, May 6, 2013

100 days and then some and... "Losing Faith"

My wife stumbled upon a blog post in which somebody proclaimed their new found disbelief in their faith and the reasons why.  It was concluded that God (if there is a God) would be happier with this person being happy and not living their faith than being miserable and living it.  Some of what was said is that this person had a tremendous amount of “faith” and had done everything they could to “1000” percent but just was not feeling like the answers were coming.  I’m not sure how long this lack of communication went on but I’m quite sure it was to the order of years they had been feeling this way.

As they put it, they were still a “good” person but they just had given up on trying to believe.  What made this interesting was my wife found the post on the facebook wall of one of her friends who shares the same faith as we do.  The way this friend posted the blog article made her think they had also lost faith in what they were doing.  The article ended with something along the lines of “if I could force myself to believe then I would believe in a heartbeat, but I can’t and so I choose to do what I feel I must which is to let go of the faith that I no longer believe in.

Some of the questions were “why isn’t my faith growing?” “why are my prayers not being answered?” “why is it that others seem to get the answers they want but I don’t?”   While there were more and the actual questions may have been slightly different those I listed were pretty much the gist of the problems this person had.  The post forced a bit of self reflection and really required a great deal of thought as to what the answers would be, if there are any at all.

This person felt they had put in a “1000” percent effort, but to no avail—the peace they had been seeking never came, why?  I ask that because I, like probably many others, have asked this very question in my own life.  I am actually living some of those questions right now.  But I know I’m not the only one.  Mother Teresa is said to have lamented the loss of her connection with God during her last while here on earth and that she had actually not felt his influence in a good number of years (I forget the exact quote or the amount of years but it was A LOT!).

On a side note I’m at a park with  my boys and just realized that my poor 8 year old does not know how to pump his legs to swing on a swing… YIKES… I’ve failed as a parent, so I must let this post go for now and help him learn.  I’m back and all is right in the world, my 8 year old can pump his legs and swing on a swing!... that was a close one!

There are some good answers to these questions but I think it’s worth thinking about for a few days before answering.  As far as the diet is concerned I’ve hit a plateau and have had a problem muscling through it.  I have felt the benefit and relief of the Candida diet I’ve chosen but also still have many symptoms that just won’t seem to go away and are frankly driving me crazy!

This difficulty feels like I’m “losing faith” in my ability to be freed from the many years of symptoms I’ve felt and I’m at a loss of what to do.  Nothing has worked completely yet, but there is still hope, which I do plan to hold on to.  Sorry it’s been a while with the posts but it’s been quite a ride! 

No comments:

Post a Comment