I figured it was just a matter of time before the positive
days turned into at least one negative one.
Well… today was that day—at least for a good part of the afternoon. It all started out a little rough; my wife
got up at 5:15am to go running and I stayed in bed, since I was up so late a
few nights ago I felt like I needed sleep a little longer. I woke up at 6:00am and felt like I could get
up but didn’t; so when my bright eyed wife and boys came in at 7:55am I was not
to cheery and downright groggy.
It took about 20 minutes before I was feeling pretty good and
ready for the day to begin. We decided
to do steel-cut oats as their own thing this morning instead of adding them to
our new drink the Cacao-Pow—although we did make a modified version of the
Cacao-Pow with a little bit of the M’Lis instant meal as well as cacao, stevia,
almond milk and an avocado—it still amazes me how smoothly the avocadoes blend
in the blend tec. Our green drink was
the standard every day variety of ours, nothing new or exciting there.
The morning was a little rough and I actually laid down for
about ½ hour before making my 4 year old some lunch. I saw the leftover spaghetti from last night
and decided that I would have some of that.
There weren’t enough of the gluten free noodles so I mixed a few of the
whole wheat noodles we made for our boys last night—I wasn’t too worried about
it because my wife tried them last night and seemed to do fine. I was a little worried about eating them and
almost didn’t but the thought popped in: “stop it! It’s in my head” and down
the hatch they went.
Well… I took my 4 year old to pre-school and then stopped by
my wife’s class to get some tax paperwork signed and ready to take to our
accountant. As I was visiting with him
he asked about the weight I’ve lost and how i’ve done it. As I was explaining some of the benefits and
relief I’ve felt on the cleanse I started to talk about my anxiety being better
than I ever remember it, but then realized that I was feeling anxious and even
said: “except right now, I am a little more anxious than I have been for a while.” He told me: “it’s just because you have to
come and see me.” We both laughed and
then continued to talk.
As we talked my mood was getting worse, my anxiety was going
up and it even felt like I was depressed.
I didn’t think much of it until I was driving home and had the
unbelievably strong desire to go to a gas station and pick up my favorite pink
sugar cookie—it was as if I hadn’t done the program at all and was just having
a pretty bad day. I even realized it was
time to pick my sons up and I was headed home instead of the school.
I then noticed that I felt a little out of it in my
head—like earlier in the cleanse—and the fogginess was there again (and it was
really strong). When I got to my wife’s classroom
my boys were there but she wasn’t. It
was at that time that it dawned on me… it was probably something I ate and was
most likely the whole wheat pasta! which seemed funny because I had already has
some bread and tortillas with whole wheat, just no yeast.
I did some quick searching online and found a story of a
woman who had eaten some wheat unknowingly in a restaurant (it was mixed with
some of the food she had ordered) and immediately started to feel “drunk” as
she put it, and also started to feel foggy.
She only realized it after she had sunk into a pretty good depression
for a couple of weeks. This really
worried me because there was no way I wanted to be sick for 2 weeks!
I read further and found out that after her little incident
she completely fell off of her food bandwagon and started to eat all the junk
and sweets—just as I had felt like doing.
All I can say is thank goodness I am married and my wife is onboard and
that I spent the money I have to get here; otherwise I may have sunk back into
my old ways and felt all the symptoms come crashing back down on me indefinetly.
I was so worried about it lasting a while but, as it turns
out it only lasted a few hours (which I contribute to the small quantity of
noodles that I ate). I still am not 100%
positive that it was the whole wheat noodles since I tried a new salsa last
night and some chips that are OK, but it was the thing that stuck out the very
most, so I have flagged all three of those foods (as well as ground turkey
because I had also eaten more of that this wee) and will probably wait a while
before introducing them again—although I will try the wheat last because of the
other food items to give me that feeling then I may just assume it’s the wheat
and STAY FAR AWAY!!! The feeling was
that bad I have no desire to feel it gain anytime soon.
We decided that we would just have a huge salad tonight
topped with quinoa mixed with avocado, green onions, basil, lemon juice and sea
salt. I was feeling a little skittish
about putting any meat or anything that was questionable in our dinner with
what I listed. The flood of feelings
only lasted about 3-4 hours, but it was enough to scare me —I have never tried
drugs but imagine that the feeling I had was similar to what some experience
when they don’t get their “fix” for a while.
Night was good—my mother-in-law came over and we made her some
eggs and quinoa as well as a Cacao-Pow with a twist; she loved it and felt like
it was more than she had eaten in a while.
She said the food tasted as if she was cheating—I’m not sure what she is
eating but I really feel like the only way I can do what I’m doing is to have
it taste the way it does; otherwise I would go crazy!
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