Thursday, March 21, 2013

Day 65 – Enough with the day counts already time for a full blown pity party!

OK, this is getting a little difficult.  It doesn’t seem to take long after what feels like a pretty big step until I have a bad day… Today was a bad day.  I’m working on clearing my ears out and woke up feeling pretty good so I decided to do another ear cleanse this morning and thought it was doing great.  My son sat down to watch a movie this morning and wanted me to sit down with him.  It didn’t take too long before I actually fell asleep while he watched—which is the problem with slowing down (at least without doing something like reading a book with him).

I woke up hoping that my ears were going to do their magic, but instead this time they felt worse—and in fact my whole sinuses felt more pressure and I’ve had a headache all day long.  I started this journey with the hope of my symptoms being done within 2 months and I was well on my way at the beginning.  It felt so great every day—it felt like a new wonderful adventure and things changed and improved so quickly it was AWESOME!  But… now, it doesn’t feel that way, the changes still come but they are slow and while there are great days the crappy ones feel really crappy.

We did make eggs with toast made from the bread I made last night and that part of the day was wonderful—but the day did start out great.  It didn’t help that I got a call from my mom today and she said that my dad was in the hospital and he wanted my brother and me to go see him.  This is strange because my dad NEVER wants to go to the hospital, so I assumed something terrible might be wrong.  I asked my mom:  “Does he want us to come now?”  She said… “yeah, if you can.”  “Of course I can” I said.  I was thinking that I only asked because of how stubborn he sometimes is about these things.

Everything was fine, which is why this wasn’t posted at the beginning of the post; but it also indicates how terrible this day has been and how long it’s felt—I didn’t remember until posting this that he was actually in the hospital today and not yesterday!  Well… I say fine,  but he did actually have a kidney stone which was ready to pass into his bladder (but I guess it wasn’t too big so their were no really worries).  He has had a kidney stone before (a bigger one actually) but didn’t think it was that this time because of how much it hurt.  It was a relief to hear that it was a kidney stone—which isn’t fun, but it is definitely NOT DEADLY!  We want to have him around for a long, long time.

After leaving I decided I should take my wife and sons to see him tonight so I called my mom and asked if we could bring them dinner—and then spent the next 2 hours making sure it was “perfect.”  Spaghetti with chicken meatballs from which were AWESOME!  Although we used our Blend Tec to chop the chicken and it ended up turning it into something that resembled the pink slime that was so popular in the news a while back.  My dad must have thought they looked crazy too because he asked if they were tofu meatballs—he must also think we are more crazy than we feel like we are, but I guess he still is OK with us coming over to eat so we must not be too bad!?!

The REALLY bad part of the day came after dinner and after getting the kids to bed. I started to get upset at how I was feeling and just had a full blown pity party in my head.  I did tell my wife how I was feeling and expected her to say that she felt the same way… but she didn’t.  That is the great thing about our relationship.  When she is weak it seems that I’m strong and when I’m weak it seems that she’s strong—there are rarely any days where we’re both weak (which is darn good because I may have been typing this from a Denny’s or an iHop or some other place—or I guess more likely not typing at all because I may have given up).

I have felt a few days during this cleanse that I do just want to give up but now that the “cleanse” part (or at least the official cleanse part) is done, we are left with deciding what we are going to continue—which at this point is about everything we’ve been doing for a while.  Did I mention it was a bad day today!

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